22 December 2006
It is days before Christmas and I have spent a good deal of time trying to get each and everyone on my list the perfect present. Most of the efforts have gone toward my three children who are delighting in the magic of the season and waiting with glee for that Jolly Old Elf to make all their dreams come true.
So, I think it is time for me to write my list….
First I want Anna’s ability to attract the most admiring glances and fantastic compliments without even batting an eyelash. I want my fat thighs to be cute as cute as hers. Tonight I brought her out to dinner with some friends and had to negotiate my way through the local basketball team that was celebrating the season at the bar. No one seemed to notice the extra time I spent applying on make up or dressing up in holiday red. But these men, completely absorbed in talking up the game and drinking down their beer, stopped conversation and stepped aside to take a peek at Anna who did nothing but sleep through it all. I want for Christmas. I want people to run when I cry, think I am adorable in pajamas, and have a crowd of basketball players take notice of me walking through a bar.
Next, I want Liam’s self congratulatory nature. I want to cheer for myself for accomplishing even the smallest of tasks. This morning was a struggle to get out of the house on time. I had to get the teachers’ presents together, Kiara and Liam dressed for their holiday parties, myself showered and ready to run some Santa errands, nurse Anna and get out the door in under two hours. We did it, just barely and I was frazzled. So, when Liam climbed into his seat and latched his buckle as he does every day he exclaimed proudly, “Hooray, I did it!” I realized I needed that more than the caffeine I was so desperately swallowing by the mugful.
I deserve a “hooray” for getting on my clothes each morning- especially now that it takes an aerobic workout to pull my jeans up. I should get a high five for giving the kids breakfast, ten if it's a healthy breakfast. What would be so wrong with congratulating myself for getting them to school on time? I really think I would be a happier person.
I also want Kiara’s confidence and conviction. She is always right, no matter what. Today we were in the car singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and when I sang the line 'you would even say it glows' she corrected me and said, “No mommy, it is 'even say it goes'.” I tried to explain to her that is was bright red and shiny, thus it glowed. She disagreed. “No it 'goes', that is how he helps Santa fly the sled.” I tried to argue my point for a mile or so, but she just couldn’t be swayed. She was so convincing that Liam has taken to her version and by the time we had reached our destination I was quite convinced that years from now children across the county will be singing about Rudolph’s traveling nose. It didn’t matter to her that I had been singing the song for years. She had her mind made up. I want to be able to approach people like that. I want that conviction the next time I take my car to the garage and the mechanic tells me that the funny sound I hear is in my head or when I have to return a defective toy to the store without a receipt. If she can do it so can I.
I know this isn’t the most realistic list, but it is a magical season. If an oversized elf can bring presents to children all over the world, surely I can inherit some of these gifts. I just don’t know who to ask….