31 May 2007
An Overdose of Sleeplessness
My brother-in-law got engaged a few months back. I was so excited. I love his wife. I love weddings. I love that he found someone who truly makes him a happier and more complete person. What I knew I would not love was the wedding weekend – and I was right. This had nothing to do with my brother-in-law, or the wedding. It had everything to do with A) my in-laws living two plane rides and over nine hours in travel, door-to-door, away from us, and B) all of the wedding festivities beginning at exactly my son’s bedtime.
I do not consider myself to be a type-A parent. I am willing to let my son get a little overtired here and there; miss a nap every now and again. But I knew that one full day of flying would equate a full day without a nap. And then two consecutive days packed with activity with nighttime activity where he was expected to be present and perform was a disaster in the works.
I spent countless hours before the trip trying to educate my husband on how important it would be to make sure that we kept him to a schedule as best we could. That we would have to arrive and make sure he went straight to bed the first night. I knew this would upset my mother-in-law, but I also knew that when my son was in meltdown mode at the wedding my mother-in-law, my hubby, and everyone else who wanted him to stay up and party each night would silently disappear as I was left with a screaming disaster on my hands.
My mother-in-law is obviously out of practice and was obviously annoyed that we spent a greater portion of each day around the house trying to encourage naps. She let me know this by continually suggesting the following: “Why don’t you just have him take a long three-hour nap and not take two naps?” and “Why don’t you just put him down an hour earlier so we can get out of the house an hour earlier?”
The second night was the rehearsal dinner/party. We had a great time. My son was having a blast with his cousins. He put on a show for everyone. He ate cookies and cake and was on cloud nine. The clock kept creeping forward. My hubby and my mother-in-law would comment to me how well he was doing. They were giving me looks, like, “See, he CAN stay up all night” and he did. He got to bed five hours past his bed time and woke up at his normal wake-up time the next morning. I knew what the day of the wedding had in store now that DS’s schedule was completely out of whack and he was going to be a good five hours deprived of sleep.
When we arrived at the wedding site for pictures the meltdown began. Here were mommy and daddy, both in the wedding party, and therefore obligated to be in the photos trying to give hints to doting relatives what they might do to pacify our crying toddler. Of course nothing really worked. He wanted to be with us, in our arms. He needed to be at home asleep.
It got worse. The flower girl had to carry him down the isle. (He was the ring bearer.) At the front of the church he could not seem to make up his mind if he should be up in my arms or down on the floor. He was quite vocal about his unhappiness. Everyone was staring at me as I was trying to maintain some grace standing behind the bride at the front of the church; although I am not sure I can call it standing, as I was bent over half the time either putting him down or picking him up. To make matters worse, he decided he wanted to nurse. He discovered that since I was wearing a strapless bridesmaid dress that he could conveniently place his hand down the dress and try to get at my boob. HORRIFYING!
What could I do? I couldn’t run and hide; I was a bridesmaid. I couldn’t divert attention; I had an overtired toddler on my hands. As I predicted all of his biggest fans who were partying with him all night long the night before were nowhere to be found. So there we were, stranded at the front of the church.
We left the reception early and I gave my hubby a major “told you so” on the way home. I am not sure if he will listen to me in the future in regards to respecting a toddler’s sleep schedule, I can bet that he will not. I can assure you however, that I will never again doubt my maternal instinct; I will make sure the next time he gets a good night sleep, (not that he will ever be invited to be in a wedding again…)