Tackling teen drinking
Parents of teens typically worry if their adolescent is experimenting with alcohol – and with good cause. Recent studies show that approximately 75% of high school students have tried alcohol and that more than 25% are binge drinkers.
It’s vital that parents talk with their teen about not using alcohol – but telling teens, “you’d better not drink” or “just say no” isn’t helpful or effective. Instead, parents need to have open and honest conversations about alcohol use. Consider these tips for communicating with your teen:
Be a good listener
If you’re in the habit of listening carefully and respectfully without jumping to conclusions, you’re more likely to have a good relationship with your teen. That relationship will make it easier to talk about difficult topics such as the consequences of alcohol use.
State your views on underage drinking
Take a firm position on no underage drinking.
Be supportive
Help your teen live by his or her views – tell them it’s OK to say, “No, I’d rather not drink.”
Follow your own rules
Teen attitudes toward alcohol are influenced by what their parents do. Parents need to behave in a manner consistent with family rules. Parents might say to teens, “Once you’re 21, it is OK to have a drink with friends,” or “It’s not OK to drink to solve problems.”
Be honest
Parents often dread the question asked by many teens, “Did you drink when you were my age?” It’s best to give an honest response. If you did drink you needn’t go into detail, but you can talk about negative consequences and what you learned from those. Your teen will respect your honesty and see you as someone who took responsibility for a mistake.
Sometimes, despite the best of intentions, teens do get in trouble with alcohol. Some of the signs of teen drinking include changes in friends, appearance and mood; a difference in eating or sleeping habits; a sudden decline in grades; increased time alone; secretiveness and avoidance of family; and frequent disagreements with family members.
If you observe these signs or have reason to believe your teen is using other drugs, you may need to ask for outside help through a mental health agency or the school. One tool is a drug testing kit – you can consult with your child’s guidance counselor or school nurse about the appropriateness of using one.