Look Out for Pitfalls With Alcohol
During this time, it is important for parents to send the right messages about alcohol, and pay attention to signs that their children may be drinking, or worse yet, have become problem drinkers.
What motivates the behavior?
Peer pressure and media messages can play a part in your children's decisions about drinking, but other factors can lead to substance use and abuse, including alcoholism, domestic problems or other psychological factors. Finding out what motivates their behavior may be the key to ending the problem, or stopping a problem before it starts.
Start with communication. As parents enter their teenage years, they yearn for privacy and will often respond to your inquiries with vague, one-word answers, or even silence. It can be tricky breaking through that wall, keeping up your duties as a parent while balancing your child's changing attitudes. But even as it gets more difficult, there can be no substitute for communication.
Make sure your teenager knows that you respect and accept the fact that as they grow older, and take on many of the attributes of a young adult, your role is shifting from disciplinarian to counselor. They are entering a period in their lives where they will want to think more freely and live on their terms. Your household rules still apply, but you want them to have the power to make their own decisions, and the training to know how to make the right ones.
Encourage an open dialogue about your teen's life. Ask them about their exposure to alcohol and other substances, and don't settle for one-word answers. Again, you are speaking to them from a place of concern, and you are trying to understand their experience, the pressures in their life and the circumstances that might influence their decisions whether to drink or not. As parents, many of us had similar experiences as high schoolers — use that to relate to your teen, sharing what worked and didn't work when you were faced with the same dilemmas. A strict no-drinking policy may sound good in theory, but in practice many teens may rebel.
See the signs
The worst thing a parent can do when it comes to teenagers is to give them the keys to the castle, and assume that everything will work itself out. More than 3,300 teenagers die in alcohol-related car accidents a year in the U.S. — car accidents are the biggest killer of teens. For teens that use alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with pressures in their life — or teens that have a genetic predisposition to alcohol addiction — this period can be a fast fall.
Watch your teens and pay attention:
- If they are going out with friends, find out where they are going, and with whom.
- Establish a curfew time, and enforce it with discipline if it is necessary. If your teen is coming home late, red-eyed and smelling of alcohol, they need to understand that is not appropriate behavior for your household rules.
- Is your teen sleeping in late, losing ground in school or hanging around with new friends? All of these things may give indications about your teen's habits.
Group-think is a hallmark of teen behavior. In addition to paying attention to what is going on individually with your child, know their friends, pay attention to who is driving when your they go out, and communicate with their friend's parents. Children who know their parents are paying attention — and talking to one another — have a great incentive to follow a straight path.
Tackle the problem head-on
Parents have different policies when it comes to teen drinking, from a strict no tolerance approach, to promoting moderation. But problem drinking should always be dealt with swiftly and without compromise.
If there are indications that your teen has a drinking problem, the time to take action is now. Consider a substance abuse treatment program. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services offers listings of facilities by geographic area. There are many options such as inpatient and outpatient treatment, 12-step programs, and dual treatment for teens with emotional and substance abuse problems. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry offers a useful list of questions to ask when seeking out a treatment program.