10 tips for online safety
When Supernanny Jo Frost visited the Schumacher family she was horrified to discover their teenage daughters surfing Internet chatrooms without parental supervision and ‘talking’ to older boys and adults.
There’s no doubt that for tweens and teens the Internet is a tremendous resource for gathering and sharing information and for tracking down other kids who share their interests. But it’s not all good news – cyber predators are a growing threat for children and youth, and they use the chatrooms and social networking websites teens love to find their prey. Experts estimate that 75-90% of US teenagers now use the Internet – and research from the University of New Hampshire has found that one child in five between the ages of 10 and 17 has received a sexual solicitation over the Internet. One child in 33 received an aggressive solicitation – someone who asked to meet them somewhere, called on the phone, or sent letters, money and gifts by regular mail.
Ask your Internet provider how you should report a person on the Internet who seems potentially dangerous
Letting your children surf the Internet is like giving them interactive access to millions of strangers. Make sure it’s a positive, learning experience and keep your child out of harm’s way by following Kidpower’s safety rules…
1 Keep the computer visible
Law enforcement experts strongly recommend keeping your computer in the living
room rather than in your child’s bedroom so you can monitor what’s going on. Taking the
time to see what your kids are doing is the best way to prevent problems.
2 Give your kids a dose of reality
Make sure your children grasp the reality of sharing personal information online. Using a
computer gives a false illusion of privacy it may be hard for your child to bear in mind that she really doesn’t know who it is she’s communicating with online. Point out that she wouldn’t hand out flyers with her personal information to strangers walking down the street and remind her that the Internet is no different than the street – these are still strangers in a public area. In fact, because she can’t see them she has even less information about who they might be.
3 Point out the publicity effect
Young people need to be aware that even if they know someone they can’t control what that person might do with any information given through the Internet. Tell them, “Once you put something on the Internet, it is available for the world to see. No matter what guarantees are made, it’s a mistake to post anything on the Internet that you would not want your parents, teachers, other friends, neighbors, or employers to see.
4 Have clear rules and consequences
Be firm about the fact that computer access is a privilege, not a right. A logical consequence for breaking a rule might be the loss of computer use for a few days except for doing homework. Young people might not always follow your rules, but you should be clear on what your expectations are. Your child is safest if you know what she’s doing, where she’s are going, and who she’s with, so her job is to check first before changing the plan about Internet use.
5 Enforce a ‘check first’ policy
Tell your child she needs to check with you before putting any personal information on the Internet – for example, by filling out a survey, registering on a website or joining a chatroom. Personal information includes their name, address and telephone number; photos; where they go to school; details of any afterschool activities or sports they go to and need picking up from; your name and place of work; the names of friends, family or teachers. Be explicit that you expect your child to get your permission before she accepts gifts from, have a telephone conversation with, or make a plan to meet someone she doesn’t already know well, whether she learned about that person through the Internet or anywhere else.
6 Teach her to say no
It can be hard to say no to an interesting, friendly person who requests personal information. You can practice this with your child by pretending to be a stranger who’s initiating an email conversation or a school friend trying to persuade her to email them some pictures.. To preserve the trust between you, reassure your child that you’re still you, and that this is for practicing skills. Make a game of trying to trick her into giving you personal information so that she can say, “Sorry. I don’t give personal information on the Internet.”
7 Coach her in when to stop
In order to protect your child from exposure to sexual images and language, tell her clearly that the second that someone starts to initiate sexual or threatening talk or that a website starts to show something sexual or graphically violent, she needs to stop the contact and let you know. You can tell your younger child, “If you read or see something that looks weird, strange, or scary, get off the computer and tell me.” To make young people less of a target when they’re surfing the Internet, make sure they use email addresses that don’t have their name or yours as part of the address. Make sure your child also knows she can also just end a conversation by logging out of a chatroom or website or quitting out of thte browser.
8 Show her you’re cyber savvy
Turn the tables and let your child try to trick you into giving personal information or into sharing something that would be embarrassing if it fell into the wrong hands. This practice doesn’t need to be scary or creepy – it’s a way to show how each one of you could say anything (pretend to be a child or an adult, to live in the same town, to like the same type of things, etc) and the other person wouldn’t know if you were telling the truth or not. If your child doesn’t want to practice, tell her she needs to demonstrate that she can surf safe before you’ll let her go online.
9 Screen out spam
Ask your Internet provider about their resources for screening tools to restrict access to inappropriate language/websites for children. There are also software programs that can tell you what websites someone using the computer has visited and other programs that can screen for pornography. However, these are quickly out of date and sometimes stop access to or from many legitimate websites and email addresses – and in any case, a curious computer-savvy child may figure out how to disable or work around whatever screening or monitoring devices you put into place.
To prevent the download of viruses or pornographic images, have a rule that your child is to check with you before opening or replying to any kind of spam and before opening any kind of attachments. Our experts recommend that spam you don’t want should just be deleted. Even if you ask to be unsubscribed, some unethical places will send your address to several other places just because you responded.
10 Take time to talk to your child
Finally, the best way to help keep your child safe on the Internet is also the best way to help protect them from other dangers. No matter how busy or stressed you are, make time to talk. You want your child to tell you what she’s doing and to ask you about anything that seems confusing or odd to her. Notice when she acts stressed, withdrawn or secretive. Make the time to listen and pay attention to the children in your life.