Built-in babysitter…
Letting your older child take care of her siblings can be a really bonding experience for your kids – as long as you do it right and don’t take advantage…
Being trusted enough to babysit is a milestone moment for your oldest child – and it’s a chore that’s left to many teens who are left home alone in the couple of hours between school ending and mom and dad getting home in the evening. Unfortunately it’s all-too-easy for parents to take advantage without acknowledging the stress it can place on their children, and many experts advise against leaving under-16s in charge of younger children.
Supernanny Jo Frost was horrified to find that teenagers Brittany and Moriah Chapman were expected to effectively parent their kid brothers while their parents were out at work – and the girls’ schoolwork and their brothers’ routine suffered as a result. If you’re planning to start your teen on family babysitting duties, follow these tips to make sure she’s up to challenge…
Does she have authority?
You know how your tween often pushes that envelope as hard as he can? You can deal with it because he knows you’re the boss of him and that you’ll enforce consequences if he takes it too far. Does he have the same respect for his older sibling? He might well be happy to sit and watch a DVD with her, but will he do what he’s told when it’s time to do his homework, shower and go to bed? You don’t want a situation where your older child is having to use threats or force to get her sibling to co-operate.
Has she had a practice run?
Don’t drop your teen in the deep end: ease her in gently by leaving her in charge for an hour tops while you run some quick errands. Alternately, let the kids walk the dog together and get a behavior report from your teen when they get back home.
Does she have the routine down?
Any mom and dad going out for a meal will take the babysitter through their kids’ routine: what happens when, and how. Don’t just assume your teen will be aware of every single step just because she lives I the same house as you! It’s likely she’s been glued to Hannah Montana every time you’ve been singing that special song that guarantees tantrum-free tooth brushing…
Does she know what’s required?
Make your expectations crystal clear to your older child: she needs to know exactly how she and her younger sibling are supposed to spend the time while you’re out, and what the limits are. For example, you might prefer she plays with him instead of letting him watch TV all evening; and you might rather she didn’t make phone calls to friends or lose herself in the Internet while she’s supposed to be watching him.
Can she cope with the emotional impact?
Although babysitting can help older kids bond more closely with younger sibling they may not usually have much time for, caring for young children is tiring and stressful at times. Regularly being left in charge of several kid brothers and sisters for long periods of time can seriously damage the sibling relationship, especially if it means your older child is getting no time to complete homework assignments and socialize with her own friends.
Is she steady?
How would she cope in an emergency? Is she sensible enough not to panic if anything happens that puts her and her siblings at risk and does she know how to contact the emergency services or your pediatrician in case of any accidents? Would she know what to do if her kid brother swallowed a poisonous substance, or was choking? Is she familiar with your fire escape plan, and does she know where the fire extinguishers are and how to use them? Before you leave her alone with her siblings, role-play some emergency situations to ensure she knows what to do.
Does she know CPR?
It’s probably one of the first things you’d ask a sitter-for-hire before you entrusted your children to her care – but does your teen know it, and does she have basic first aid skills?