Potty training: your questions answered
So your toddler is ready for toilet training, you’ve cleared your schedule so you can give the process the attention it deserves and she’s chosen the potty of her dreams. What do you do when she just won’t co-operate?
If I forget to sit my daughter on the potty she pees or poops wherever she’s sitting. When will she learn to go to the potty herself?
You may be expecting too much too soon. Don’t forget, your toddler has spent the last couple of years just going when she needed to in her diaper and it’ll take time for her to connect the urge to go with the need to get to the potty. Remind her but don’t overdo it, as she needs to learn to recognize the urge herself. After a few weeks she will begin to go herself – giving her a sticker for her reward chart every time she takes the initiative can help. Bear in mind though that even when she does make that link there will be times when accidents occur – for example, when she’s engrossed in play or tired she’s more likely to miss her body’s signals.
My son is happy to pee in the potty but he refuses to poop and gets very upset if I try to encourage him. What can I do?
Since he’s pooping quite happily in the diaper it doesn’t sound like your son is constipated, which can make children hang on for fear of it hurting them. Young children can get very emotionally invested in the act of pooping – they see the poop as part of their body and can’t understand what’s happening when it comes out. It can help to give a very simple explanation of how their body throws out the food it doesn’t need just like you do the garbage, that it comes out as poop and that it’s fine to let it come. Ease him in gently to the idea of doing it in the potty by letting him sit on the potty wearing his diaper to poop, and then letting him empty the poop into the potty, before gradually moving on to laying a diaper in the potty so he can poop on top of it. You can then use scissors to cut a diaper into progressively smaller pieces for him to poop on top of until it doesn’t have to be there at all. A reward chart will offer added incentive.
Toddler toilet phobia can stem from the fear of falling off or falling in. If it’s causing problems, try sitting your child on it backwards so she can hold onto the tank to steady herself, or place a step in front of the toilet so she has something to rest her feet on
My daughter overshot the potty when sitting down on it and hurt herself. Now she won’t sit down on it at all – how can I restore her confidence?
Try sitting behind the potty with your legs on either side of it so she can be reassured by your presence. Once she sits it might be a good idea to read a story to her to distract her from any concerns he may have; or have some bubbles handy so she can focus on blowing them while she sits on the potty. Don’t wait until she needs to poop to do this – try for a few minutes a couple of times a day so she doesn’t feel afraid to sit on it when she does need to poop.
My son keeps leaving it until the last minute to sit on the potty and pooping on the floor beside it instead. How can I stop him from doing it?
It’s bound to be frustrating if every poop is a near miss and you’re constantly having to clean up the mess. But try not to get annoyed with your child – after all, the fact he’s nearly getting there means it won’t be long before he’s successful. Instead, praise him for recognizing that he needed to go and trying his best to sit on the potty on time – it’s the best way of encouraging him to react a little faster the next time he feels the urge!
How can I get my son to use public toilets? I keep having to put diapers on him for trips out.
Young children can get really attached to their own potty and it’s common for them to be nervous when it comes to using public bathrooms, especially when they’re aware there are other people in the surrounding stalls. If your child is accustomed to using a potty or a soft kid toilet seat, it may be the thought of falling into the toilet that’s upsetting him. Automatic flushers that may not wait until your child gets off the toilet, and the noise from hand driers, can be scary too. Help him get used to the idea of sitting on a different toilet by taking him to use the one at a friend or neighbor’s house, or his grandparents’ house. If he’s still nervous, think about investing in a portable toilet seat cover you can use in public bathrooms.
When will my toddler be dry overnight?
Just because a child is dry during the day doesn’t mean she’ll automatically be dry overnight. During the day she has you to remind her to go to the potty, and she’ll learn to recognize the signs that she needs to pee. But most young children take a while to go through the night without wetting at some point because their bladders are too small to hold on and they may be sleeping so soundly they don’t feel the urge. So by all means, ditch the daytime diapers – but buy a pack of pull-ups for overnight use unless you want to be getting up every night to change bedsheets!
My daughter loves her potty but she pees so frequently it’s causing problems when we go out. Is it OK to put a diaper on her when we go out?
If your daughter is happy to use her potty and isn’t having accidents at home you’re well on the way to total potty training success. With that in mind, switching back and forth between the potty and diapers isn’t a good idea, as it will confuse her. You need to be consistent – and get into the habit of sitting her on her potty before you go out and taking her to the toilet once you arrive at your destination or keeping a portable potty in your car.
How can I encourage my son to pee standing up? He keeps insisting I heave him up onto the toilet!
Most boys learn to pee standing up by watching an older brother or their dad do it. If you’re a single mom and don’t have a trusted relative or friend who can demonstrate the technique, try making the practice of upright peeing a fun activity for your little boy. Spray shaving foam into the bowl, or tear up pieces of toilet tissue and see if he can hit them when he pees. Another good trick is to float a pingpong ball on the water for him to aim at.