Raise a cleanup kid!
Let’s face it: chores are an inescapable fact of life. So just as you prepare your child for succeeding in the world of work by encouraging her to do well at school, you need to prepare her for independence by housetraining her.
Think of it as teaching basic life skills to help your child learn to take responsibility, work out routines, discover teamwork and learn to tolerate the boredom that can come with repetitive tasks! Having the odd chore to do before she gets to watch TV or play also teaches her to prioritize by showing her that sometimes she has to wait for things she wants. It’s a lesson that will stand her in good stead when it comes to holding off on impulsive decisions as an adult.
Now for the but… though she might be ready and able to start tidying, folding, sweeping and picking up, it’s unlikely that she’ll be willing! So how do you get around her reluctance to co-operate, and transform her into a clean-up kid?
Start ’em young
It’s the ideal scenario because toddlers and preschoolers love to be involved in whatever you’re doing, and to them trailing around with a duster is a great game. Using a bucket of water and a sponge to help you wash the car is even better. Don’t expect things to be spick and span though – you’ll probably have to tweak things to match your standards. Even if they might get in the way at times, see it as a way of showing them you’re not the maid rather than actually getting the job done properly – that will come later.
Motivate them
Encouragement and rewards are much better motivating factors than nagging. Use a reward chart (draw it up as a chore chart) and award points for the jobs she’s finished properly. After she has accumulated a set number of points she can use them for treats! With older kids, show them how much you appreciate their help – reinforcing the importance of being responsible and productive.
Negotiate a deal
If your child is particularly resistant, listen to her reasons why she doesn’t want to do something and then explain why it needs to be done. This will help her see how it all fits into the scheme of things. Giving her a choice in the chores she does may help too – jot down what needs doing on some postcards and let her select two or three. There may even be something your child enjoys doing: is she a born organizer? Then get her sorting the laundry! Does she like the outdoors? Then get her to weed the lawn! The postcard method has an added bonus in that it highlights to kids all the work you’ve previously been doing on your own.
Whistle while you work!
Show a positive attitude yourself when it comes to chores – huge sighs of boredom and frequent cursing may encourages kids to copy you when you ask them to help out. Be careful not to offload it all onto your kids - working together will help foster that sense of partnership.
Don’t criticize
It’s unlikely your child will do every single chore to your liking but try to avoid pulling them up over every little thing. If they feel it’s impossible to please you they may just give up making the effort, period. Plus, you may create the impression that they’re not good enough, which can affect self-esteem and confidence. Show them how things are done, step by step. If they get it wrong be patient and show them again – and if they get it right, be sure to offer lots of praise.
Let us know how you get on with these tips and share your own ideas for the chore wars in our forum…