The naughty mat technique
Sometimes your children can be at their most challenging when you're out and about and your attention is not focused on them. But it can be very difficult to discipline a child when all eyes are on you! If the naughty step technique works well in your home, why not try taking this mat out with you, so your child benefits from a consistent approach to parenting?
The naughty mat is also ideal for younger children, from about the age of 2, who might not be safe or comfortable on the steps or on a chair. You might also like the idea of being able to move the naughty spot around your home, so you can keep an eye on your child wherever you are.
Step 1: Give her a warning
When your child misbehaves explain what she’s done wrong, tell her that her behavior is unacceptable, and warn her that if she behaves in the same way again she’ll be put on the naughty mat. Make sure your voice remains calm, not angry, and use a low, authoritative tone.
Step 2: Sit her on the naughty mat
If she misbehaves again, find a suitably quiet corner and immediately put her on the naughty mat. Explain clearly why she is there and how long she must stay there (one minute per year of her age). Don't feel shy if people stare – it’s much better to calmly use the mat than it is to lose your temper with her!
Step 3: Be firm
If she comes off the naughty mat, put her back on using gentle but firm movements, and keep putting her back onto the mat until she realizes that you’re committed to keeping her there for the agreed set time.
Step 4: Make sure she knows why you put her there
Once your child has completed the agreed set time on the naughty mat, crouch down so you’re on the same level, use a low and authoritative tone of voice, and explain why you put her there. Ask her to apologize, and when she does, praise her warmly with a kiss and a cuddle. Say ‘thank you’, go back to what you were doing and forget about the incident.
If your child refuses to apologize (or does something like shouts ‘sorry’ in a way which makes you think she probably doesn’t mean it!), continue this technique until she realizes that you need a proper apology. But don’t forget the kiss and cuddle at the end!
Step 5: Avoid the triggers
Are you somewhere which is particularly triggering the situation? If your child is always difficult in the store or when you eat out, try to get her involved more in what you're doing, and make sure you keep communicating. Or is your child tired or hungry? See if you can help resolve her frustration and move her on to another activity or use the involvement technique to diffuse the situation.