How to deal with tween mean
Your child has always been an angel and then they arrive... the dreaded tween years. Suddenly you may have to deal with backchat, lying and attitude – not to mention strange new music and fashion! Follow these discipline tips for children aged 8-12.
Keep your cool
A calm approach works best – don’t overreact or give it too much attention. Think about the example you’re setting… if you go off like a firecracker yourself, your tween is likely to adopt this approach too!
Be firm
When you have to insist on a rule give your reasons, but remain firm.
Try natural consequences
For example, point out that if he doesn’t do his homework, he’ll get into trouble with his teacher.
Use humor
It can work well for this age group. If children are whining, you can do it in a silly voice: “I don’t want to go to work either – let’s stay and play all day!”
Offer rewards
Hugs and praise, a special outing, a DVD rental or a favorite meal are all good ways of showing your appreciation of good behavior.
Set up sanctions
You could take away treasured possessions for a time, ground him or suspend TV privileges and allowance.
Perfect positive discipline
Give more attention to the good behavior you want to encourage, and ignore minor misbehavior as much as possible. It's also a good idea to avoid harsh punishments and only use sanctions (such as grounding) for serious misbehavior.
Top 10 tips for tween discipline
1 Understand your child will want to test out his independence. Answering back or disobeying can often be a way of demonstrating this and showing you that he has a mind of his own. Encourage as much independence as possible, even if it involves some risks – kids need to learn by their own mistakes.
2 Work at reflective listening, feeding back what you’ve been told and not leaping in with your own judgments.
3 Target your praise, describing exactly what it’s being given for.
4 Review and adapt your house rules as your child grows.
5 Don’t give too many orders – these can overwhelm children. Explain why some things have to be, but listen to his views. If you have to overrule, explain that until he’s more mature, there are some decisions you must make for him.
6 Stay calm and avoid arguments as much as possible.
7 Keep criticism to a minimum – and only criticize a behavior, not your child.
8 Good communication at any age is an essential parenting skill. Kids need you to understand how they’re feeling, and to listen to their views – this helps build self-esteem.
9 Try to avoid sarcasm, apportioning blame, and put-downs.
10 Set a good example Remember, kids this age still learn most by example – they are bound to imitate what they see parents do. The best way to have children do what you want is to demonstrate it, not order them to do it!