Keeping Christmas peaceful in your blended family
You may be a single parent, a stepparent, a residential or non-residential parent, or you co-parent your children with their other parent. No matter what your family configuration, chances are you have many people you need to celebrate with, creating more transitions for your children.
As a result, you may be looking at a crazy schedule, more obligations than you can meet and lots of time spent traveling from place to place to ensure that everyone has their fair share of time with the children.
We all want the best holiday experience for our children and ourselves. The key is to find fun in just being together and creating an emotional environment that allows everyone to celebrate the joy of the season. Here are some ideas to help tame the holiday frenzy…
1 Plan ahead
Many parents spell out the holiday schedule far in advance. This helps both parents and children know where and with whom they will spend time.
2 Minimize transitions
Try to schedule time in reasonable ‘chunks’. This is necessary if you live at a distance. When geography isn’t an issue, resist the temptation to have your child present at three celebrations on the same day.
3 Pay attention to your children
Every child, no matter what age, has expectations for the holidays. It may be a special food, a time to see a cousin they rarely spend time with, or a special event at your church or temple. Be sure you plan for these activities – the rituals of holiday celebrations are important to keep because they’re the glue that connects us to the past and the future.
4 Practice peace
Make the effort to cooperate and get along with the other parent, your children’s families, and your child. This is the best gift you can give your children.
5 Spend downtime together
It may be tempting to entertain your child if you’re not with her or him a lot, but some of the best spent time is just being together, at home. This is when you can talk, play games and appreciate each other’s company.
6 Don’t try to out-do the other parent
The holidays aren’t a competition about who can provide the most. As tempting as it may be to overindulge your children with gifts and privileges, that’s not what they need. Work with the other parent to develop a reasonable gift list.
7 Coordinate and communicate with the other parent
Children sometimes get overtired or sick during the holidays. Be flexible and be willing to change your plans if your child isn’t feeling well or just can’t take another event. Share information with the other parent – and show appreciation for the important care they give your children.